


The Lucas Interlude

by jujubiest



Series: The Lucas Compendium [10]
Category: Forever (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Dark Past, M/M, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 15:31:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6290017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujubiest/pseuds/jujubiest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucas considers what he knows about Adam, what he means to him, and what he's willing to accept to be with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lucas Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> I am _so sorry_ this took so long to post. But I just got a surge of inspiration to finish this, so hopefully it won't be too long before the next part is up!

Lucas lay awake, staring at the discolored tiles of his bedroom ceiling. The building was old and in constant need of repairs; he’d have to call the super to replace a few of those before long. He let himself dwell glumly on that for a moment, the comforting banality of it. It seemed banality was in short supply in his life of late.

Granted, a part of him had known from the moment he met “Ethan” that he would be exciting. He’d had it written all over him, the gleam of mischief in his eyes, the sinful suggestiveness of his smile. Even playing the good guy, as he had been that night, Adam was surrounded by omens of Trouble to come. He wore them like a mantle, trailing discord in the dust behind him.

He’d just thought it would be the ordinary kind of excitement, great sex at the least, maybe new love for a while. Eventually, a dramatic fight that would end everything in heartbreak. Lucas had been ready to go along for the ride, just to break the monotony and take his mind of Henry Morgan. And now…

And now.

Now he was lying awake in the early hours of the morning, watching his ceiling tiles as though he might be able to detect their slow decay if he looked long and hard enough. He was thinking about how often he had to replace them, how in his lifetime they would probably have to be replaced several dozen times.

How he would barely notice the difference, from one tile to the next, and never think to miss the old ones as long as new ones were there to take their place.

Beside him, Adam slept on his stomach, one hand reaching out toward Lucas, fingers just brushing his shoulder. He reached up and grasped that hand in his own, and was immediately rewarded when Adam responded by gripping back and rolling over to settle against his shoulder. He smiled in spite of his fatalistic train of thought.

Adam was going to live forever. And he, Lucas, would not. He would get older, and eventually die, and Adam would go on without him…maybe find someone new to love. Forget him.

At least, that’s what he’d thought, for those first few months after he first waited for Adam to come out of the river. But now that he knew more of Adam’s story, he wondered.

Adam often spoke of his enemies, of past wrongs, unspeakable cruelties. He told Lucas, in whispered tones, about the people he’d killed and the reasons why. It chilled Lucas to listen, but listen he did, because he wanted to know every detail. Even the ugly ones.

But in all that time, Adam had never told him a single story about love, or kindness. He’d mentioned, just once, a man he had loved long ago, but that, too, had been a story of death, of loss. And in over two thousand years, he had loved only three people.

 _How many years after I die_ , Lucas wondered, _will it be before he finds someone else to love?_

He wished, nonsensically, that he could leave something behind, some set of instructions for that next person, so that Adam would be sure to find them, and trust them, and let himself be loved.

_Likes: making out, classic monster movies, finding new and interesting ways to kill himself. Dislikes: flavored coffee, sex on top of the blankets, talking about the future. Approach with caution, handle with care._

Lucas huffed a quiet laugh at his own ridiculous train of thought, muffling the sound in Adam’s hair. Adam’s only response was to wrap an arm around him and settle in closer. He pressed a kiss to his forehead.

It should probably have bothered him more to find out some of the truths Adam had tried at first to shield him from. It should probably bother him more that it _didn’t_ bother him.

But some part of Lucas—a part he hoped he would never have to actually use—understood it.

Adam had lived his life in constant danger of being discovered. He wasn’t afraid of death, but he was terrified of pain. And after what had been done to him by those who had learned his secret, there were few lengths he wouldn’t go to in order to keep it.

That didn’t make it _okay_ …but Lucas didn’t need to justify it to the world, or Henry Morgan, or to a court of law. He just needed to be able to explain it to himself.

He looked at the sleeping face pressed against his shoulder. With his eyes closed it was easy to believe he could be just another mortal man, maybe late thirties or early forties. Completely ordinary. Nearly all the lines were smoothed from his face in sleep, except the ever-present wrinkles of worry that creased his forehead.

Lucas knew he didn’t age, so whatever headway time had made on his body must have happened before his first death. His original life had been a hard one.

Now, Adam killed to protect himself from hardship, from pain. That wasn’t so hard to comprehend.

_After all, what would I do to protect him, if it came down to it?_

He wasn’t sure there was a single wrong answer to that question.

And if that dredged up darkness he’d never known was in him, well…so be it.


End file.
